Maybe I still love you

I'm not in love with you anymore.
I never was.
I was in love with the idea of us being in love,
I still am.
Part of me always will
Because I sugar coated every one of your flaws,
Until your name was too hard to swallow,
And I poured salt on every wound you made,
Until I was bleeding oceans.
I don't know what I liked about you.
Maybe my escape from loneliness.
But I am aware now.
Aware enough to know
That even if I hate you,
I'll still answer the phone
At 2 am when all I want to do is sleep.
And I'll still look at you,
Every time I drive by,
Until I forget the road curves.
I crash every time.
I crash into the worthlessness that you created.
I crash into the dreams I had of us.
I crash onto your lips ever time,
Even from a mile away.
The skin on my neck you bruised
Has shed months ago,
But I cant shed you from my mind.
I still look for you in everyone.
I still look for you everywhere.