Looking in the mirror
whose that staring back?
Apparently it's me but I always hate what I see
People say I'm beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, pretty, cute
but there just words I hear.
I see and feel ugly, fat, small, boring, worthless, silly
the list is endless it goes on and on.
Driving myself crazy with the never-ending thoughts and conversations in my head
just wish they would disappear so I could be "normal", not feel so dead.
Wishing I could take the easy way out but I'm too much of a coward
I'd feel too guilty about the mess I'd leave behind for family, all the hurt and pain they would be in.
A different brain would be great instead of mind and body numbing pills.
Walking round like a zombie is not good.
Everyday is a struggle just to get out of bed, with my messed up head.
Getting dressed is the worst, I feel so exposed.
4-5 dress retakes later it's make up time.
Struggling to see the beauty others see
I cover my flaws as best as I can, mascara, lipgloss, eyeliner.
Trying to hid the uglyness
Trying to face the world with a smile on my face
I know BDD will forever be the winner!