Missing you

Everyday I am thinking 
My soul and energy is sinking 
Drifted away from the world 
Laying on the floor curled
If only I could have saved you 
If only you knew that you would get through
You would not have taken yourself from me
That was not the way to set yourself free

Missing you cuts like a knife 
I walk now day by day  alone in this life 
Endless tears burden my face 
Your body has no trace 
Only ashes in the sea 
I tell myself that it can't be
Why did you leave me
 
Blaming myself for the loss 
For you I carry the cross
I love you more than anything 
You gave me your everything

Why was I so selfish and blind
not thinking of you or your mind 
In another human, you I won't find.
Please forgive me for not being there enough
for playing tough and I know things had been rough 

Missing you cuts like a knife 
I walk now day by day alone  in this life
Wait for me in the afterlife