Poem -
~~A Moment of Clarity
One day I saw my love softly weeping
Smoking a cigarette in the shadows
Behind the high school she taught, and
Why did it seem so unbelievable?
.
To see her so sad and sunk so low
What on earth or in the stars above
Could ever break the woman that I love
And bring her such distress and sorrow?
.
Suddenly she threw down the cigarette
And with the soles of her brand new shoes
Crushing it with anger into the pavement
Glancing at the yard with vacant eyes
.
Then she saw me staring from a distance
And gave me a look of cold disapproval
Quickly removing the door wedge, and
Disappearing; as the door slowly closes
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Comments
Chris my friend how are you, nice words dude, where I come from it's called the cold shoulder :D
Chris- Hey friend, I love this!!!!! The door slowly closing, I love that last line, WOW! Hope you are well, and Canada is good to you. Take Care
Nancy
Excellent write Chris!! As always...very much enjoyed!! The ending is powerful...I could imagine the door closing...
5*s
Val ♥
Beautiful piece of observant poetry my friend.........as usual, a VERY creative write brother.........could feel the longing and despair here..........well done bro!!..........ttyl...........T xx
OMG! Jason...I'm good man, back using my 'fake' name; lol...good to hear from you; been a while...come back! I was actually thinking about you the other day ( non sexual, just saying) hope all is well with you my friend...miss you tons...thanks for comment as well, I always need encouragement, and sometimes a kick in the arse as well ;d...cheers mate
What you mean your real name isn't Mamma Jamma !!!!!! Lol
I'm great thanks pal, you keep your fantasys to yourself or Rach will get jealous :D
I just said to Tracy that I will put on a funny (I think so) xmas poem on later, it's outrageously disgusting so you'll like it lol.... take care pal :)
Oh wow...I thought MJ was someone who sounded familiar...was that really you Chris?? There seems to be a lot of people on here who do that...
Wow Nancy, you make me just about speechless, so sweet of you to say that...appreciate a ton, thanks for comment, and Canada does love me; as long as I pay my taxes and keep my clothes on outside, I think I might be okay; kidding;...cheers Nancy
Val thanks, your comments ALWAYS encourage me to keep writing my weird lil poems, I was in the middle of writing another poem when this one came into my mind...somehow the image of this woman smoking a cigarette in the shadows came into my head, the rest of it wrote itself, I suppose....keep keeping on pal, virtual hugz
Hey thanks a ton T, it's so odd to me how these things get conceived, lots happening in the mind that I simply don't get...thanks again bro., will talk soon
Hey Keondra, okay I'll tell you what happened to give you closure; lol, she just found out that her lover; the man watching her, is having an affair with one of her teaching associates, he is unaware that she now knows his secret, and as they say in Trinidad his 'ass is grass!' hey maybe I should've included that in the poem; not sure, but I honestly think you bring out a great point, makes me think; thanks, stay sweet my friend...cheers
Hey Cherie, yes indeed the cold shoulder from a woman should be avoided more than the bite of a scorpion, lol...hey thanks for your great comment (as usual) I actually had a 'vision' of this poem as I was attempting to compose another one; I think poetry was trying to tell me something; don't try too hard to 'push' out poetry or be overly intentional about the thing, just allow it to come out, I personally think the process of writing one is far more important or enjoyable than what ends up being written down...always a pleasure to hear from you my friend and I agree whole heartedly that the reader should be given the chance to imagine...ttyl