Momentary lifetime

A momentary lapse now contains the measure of my life 
reality realized to late cut through me like a sacrificial knife
isolated minutes frozen in my ever running mind summen mental demons that cant be erased with time
noone knows my secrets but I know them all to well they visit me in vivid dreams of inferno molten pits and leave vile sulfer smell
I hold strong to the belief that we are to walk by faith and not by sight but it  is that same type of conviction that leaves me sleepless in the night
Time and time I'm told just repent and you can leave it all there but my god shaped hole always reminds me my soul is bare
God has lovingly provided a sea named the sea of forgetfulness past sins are cast and any trace are by his name to decease and not exist 
but I cant seem to find the sea iv tried every pond river pool and well... Nightmares of my past mistakes remain my living hell