Mt Etna Home

I built a nice house on Mount Etna

A refuge for wife, kids and me

It seemed like a scheme that could work like a dream

But it wasn’t as you will soon see.

The kids thought our view was terrific

And the rumbling was good ‘show and tell’

The misses hot pashies were from sulphurous ashes

Which she said made her horny as hell.

We had happily all that we needed

But volcanoes don’t care what you owns

Now to tell you the truth, all that’s left is the roof

And a fecking great mountain of stones.

There wasn’t a great deal of warning

I remember the moment quite clear

I was watching Blue Hills on the telly

Whilst swigging a flagon of beer.

A deafening noise from the mountain

A fierce lightning flash bright and stark,

A blood curdling scream from the backyard latrine

Then the whole bloody business went dark.

I suppose we could make a nice rockery

And plant a few flowers for cheer

But our homely back door just won’t open no more

And we’ve not seen the kids since last year.

It’s not like a home without kiddies

The cat’s just gone hard like a brick

And the sulphur that used to work magic

Makes my partner feel frigid and sick.

A volcano is really not homely

It’s simply not safe and that’s that

The Sulphur might make the wife horny

But you can’t pet a fossilized cat?

Rev 3    6/4/14   mk