In My Deepest Feelings

Here I sit with gloom in my eyes
Here I sit my heart in my stomach
Here I sit losing my mind
Here I sit slowly dying inside

Here I sit not knowing whats next
Here I sit with a knife in my chest
Here I sit in deep thoughts
Here I sit empty and hollow

Deep inside I hide away from the world
That fake smile on my face so they dont know
The feeling of loss in my heart
Feeling like im losing what matters

My mind so out of control
Dwelling on that horrible convo
My inisdes screaming help me please
Cant find a way to put my mind at ease

Thinking over and over whered I go wrong
Deeply slowly hurting myself with my thoughts
Of negativity of no good of all bad
Sitting pondering and looking so sad

I cry inside not to cry out
How bad those tears want to burst out
I shall lay in dismay and drift away
Hopefully to not dream any dream

Feel as if im just losing
Its so easy to and simple to lose
Rather than gain and win the war
Sleep I may unsure right now

Here I sit just wondering what
What should I have said 
What should I have done
Why did i do what I did
What will come next for me
What will happen in the end of that
Am I good enough for this
Will I make it any farther
Is it all worth doing for
Should I stop this right now

Here I sit so hollow and lost
Here I sit so lost in
My feelings I hide
My dreams I cant find
Im feeling behind
I cannot find my place
Im losing my faith
Ive Fallen from grace
Im all over the place

At the moment I am lost inside
Those words spoken werent a token
Reality of this poem is
The truth hurts like a mother fu**er