MY EX: THE NARCISSIST
I can remember how you lacerated my memory with subtle violence and spoken
Suggestions that it was my incompetence which caused our failure.
Your words were carnivorous eating bits of me day by day!
Voracious in their intent...sharp with critical bites and nips!
Yet you pitched your narrative in angles of loving criticism
Designed to expose my inability to love you "properly".
You placed me in a labyrinth of zigs and zags with no compass
Restricting my wants and needs to self-indulgent pettiness
While assuring me that you could "cure" my incompetence...you bitch!
You controlled our lovemaking dangling it like a tasty morsel to be earned.
If I wasn't pleasing, you withheld my ability at the last moment to orgasm!
You sunk my voice into so deep an abysmal silence; I had become deaf to ME!
Then I had an epiphany that crept in beyond the squalor in which I resided.
Suddenly, I knew my feelings were punishing me because I'd ignored them!
Feelings I had sacrificed in the hope that you would have a fucking epiphany!
This realization required a castration OF ME, MYSELF AND I, from you!
I will not continue to be your supply to torture in order to fuel your absence of humanity!
I pity you...so glad I will never see or speak to you again.
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Comments
Very powerful - emotional.
Some of it seemed rather bold and distracting, but that is a personal feeling. Course, in relationships, times can be so very bad that the loving feeling is absent or there is violence in the home. I could feel the pain in the poem, pain of not being treated well.
This is the part that bothered me (but) I'm not sure why.
I think how we feel about reading certain material can be affected by our current mood, mine tonight is sad, frustrated and somewhat depressed which is why I'm trying hard to stick to happier poems, more up beat. I think you did a good job with putting emotion into the poem. I also found your art work, you are very talented.
Thanks for sharing your poem.
KW....
I write in many poetic forms and on many subjects as you can see on my pages. Most important to me is to write honestly. I went through a lot with this man. He wanted control and obedience of which I could not surrender.
I left him. He stalked me for a year or had one of his friends follow me when I left my home. The entire experience was extremely emotional. I did forgive him before he died of a heart attack in the parking lot of his apartment complex.
Thank you so much for reading this piece and advising me on how you truly felt.
val
Crazy realizing we held the power the entire time... So glad you broke free and even happier I found your perfectly executed write love the way you convey your strength and honesty and what makes you different from a narc ❤️Praying for inner peace and healing to continue to find you daily
Rae Rae!
Thank you for your encouraging comments. I actually found a lot of help on UTube. "ASSC Direct" helped me to get rid of him in 6 months! I was astonished at how much information is there to assist women and men who get involved unknowingly with a "narc"! There are so many experts giving invaluable info/insight for those are going through the trauma of a relationship with a narcissist. Their information is absolutely invaluable. So now I am an expert and can spot the traits of a narc easily.
val
when we know better we can do better... Naive understanding made me more than eager to willingly accepting gifts of living hell and self torment so beautifully wrapped and packaged by soul eating narcs that I felt grateful even special to be chosen to receive them...an unexplainable awakening of the spirit and now IM Santa I can almost immediately tell who is naughty or nice and no longer naive my discernment checks the list twice ...dedicated now to spreading the spirit of freedom and send tidings of love and light wishing everyone a merry existence ❤️
The power someone else can have on us, can be alarming once we wake up to the reality of it. So glad you don’t have such a person in your life now. I hope writing this helped you. It can feel quite cathartic to release in words such pain and heartache. Thanks for sharing such a powerful piece. Happier days ahead for you I hope x