My House

MY HOUSE

My house is where I lay my head, written on the wall Psalms says “I will lie down and sleep in peace for you alone lord make me dwell in safety”.
Safety is what I feel when I’m under, semi-conscious, but my mind starts to wonder. Within these walls nobody knows…my body collapses and folds on a heap on the floor wanting to be no more….how much humility must I endure?
As I pick myself up and look in the mirror, my tears overflows
Oh how nobody knows….
That when I look at me, I see my vision only, and within me no direction, no aim, no goal, just pain and failure apart of the negative mania.
Oh how nobody knows….
Struggling to see my way clear and on top of that the fear of me disappearing into thin air, never to declare that I’m actually here.
As I look up at the sky I let out a sigh….wondering why am I here.
As I get myself together I watch some tv to forget that I was even there, in that place of despair, my life doesn’t seem fair.
Trying to find me is harder than I thought, trying not to be the person that I was, the person  that I am, the person whom I’m meant to be…do you know her who is she!...
But still I remain alive and breathing, not really living…..life can be so unforgiving.
I’m always waiting in my pain, waiting in vain for something to happen, but still I maintain
Within my house laughter still flows but not enough….
Oh how nobody knows…..
 I’m letting you guys in to what happens in my house.