My Immortal
She dwells into the darkness unknown yet ironically familiar.......a deep sadness thats tearing into her wondering if someone even cares to wonder...her Haunting piercing thoughts of her lost love blundered....for her sadness destroying what little passion she grasped inside her....reaching,craving, needing, severely for someone to help her......she fades into her darkness realizing deaths focus on her.....for who would or even could, possibly ever understand her!!!....an awkward yet calming smirk follows her silent laughter........love lost memories,visciously digging into her broken soul, its........ "my" disaster? I realize this person who's so lost, alone in such sadness.....Well its "me", once again falling deeper into my everyday madness!!
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Comments
Fascinated journey of love. I like the verse.
With regards,
Ravindra Kumar
Thank you! :-)
Really liked the content of this one Lisa, it was emotive and was left open to interpretation a little, which again I liked. Some great descriptive lines, that contained some nice imagery. Perhaps the structure could have been improved slightly, it ran from one line/statement to another, but that is just layout. I just think you would find it read even better if you just broke it up slightly. However it was a good write, much enjoyed. A vote from me:)
Thank you for the advice! I wrote this in 20 minutes and I agree the layout needs work! I'm new to writing my thoughts out for the world to see, and just excited to finally put my writing out there! I am glad you enjoyed!! Can't wait to write more poems for some to enjoy! Thank you for your vote :-)
You're welcome Lisa, I very much enjoyed your style and look forward to reading more from you:)