My reality

MY REALITY
FREESTYLE POETRY
BY: SYLVIA ALVA

YOUNG AND INNOCENT WE DREAM  BIG
WE HOPE TO BE SO MANY THINGS
OUR MOST COMMON DREAM
IS TO BE RICH
THERE IS NO LIMIT
AS TO HOW FAR WE COULD REACH
AS WE GROW OLDER
WE TEND TO FORGET ABOUT ALL OF THE THINGS WE WANTED TO BE
THOSE MEMORIES
MUST HAVE
DRIFTED AWAY
ALONG WITH THE DAYS WHEN OUR INNOCENCE LIVED
I PICTURED MYSELF
IN A BEAUTIFUL HOME
A LOVING HUSBAND
TWO CHILDREN
A BOY AND A GIRL
THE LIFE OF A DOCTOR SOUNDED SO SWEET
BUT THAT’S NOT AT ALL WHAT MY LIFE CAME TO BE
I HAVE FOUR CHILDREN
TWO BOYS AND TWO GIRLS
WHOM I LOVE TO DEATH
AND WOULDN’T TRADE FOR THE WORLD
I’VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED OR EVEN ENGAGED
I WORK REAL HARD TO LIVE DAY BY DAY
MY PRINCE CHARMING NEVER CAME
AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP IS WHAT I HAD INSTEAD
I THOUGHT THAT HE LOVED ME
BOY WAS I WRONG
IT MAY BE HARD TO UNDERSTAND WHY WE DON’T LEAVE AS SOON AS IT STARTS
I CAN’T MAKE YOU SEE THINGS
THE WAY THAT I DID
BUT I CAN TELL YOU MY STORY
HOPING YOU SEE
WHY  IT WASN’T EASY
FOR ME TO LEAVE
IT’S HARD FOR US TO COMPREHEND
HOW SOMEONE WE LOVE CAN QUICKLY BECOME ENEMY NUMBER ONE
AT FIRST HE IS SO CHARMING
GIVING HIS LOVE
HE WILL MAKE YOU FEEL SPECIAL
MAKING YOU LAUGH AT ALL OF HIS JOKES
EVERY WORD MAKES YOUR HEART MELT
HE SAYS THAT HE IS DIFFERENT
HE SAYS HE WILL DIE BEFORE HE MAKES YOU CRY
BUT THOSE ARE THE FIRST OF ALL OF HIS LIES
HE SAYS ALL THE THINGS YOU LONG TO HEAR
YOU ARE FOOLED INTO THINKING
HE ONLY LOVES YOU
THE WORLD DOESN’T MATTER WHEN HE’S WITH YOU
AS SOON AS HE SEES
YOU HAVE FALLEN DEEPLY FOR HIM
BREAKING YOUR HEART REPLACES HIS CHARM
IT STARTS WITH JEALOUSY
IT’S CUTE IN SOME WAY
IT’S HIS WAY OF SHOWING THE WORLD
YOUR LOVE HAS GOT HIM FEELING SOME KIND OF WAY
YOU WON’T THINK MUCH OF IT
AND JUST LET IT GO
IT’S THEN WHEN HE STARTS TO KEEP YOU AWAY FROM YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
NOT EVEN YOUR KIDS
CAN ESCAPE HIS INSECURITIES
YOU FIND AN EXCUSE
TO TELL YOUR SON
THAT YOU WILL NOT ATTEND HIS NEXT BASKETBALL GAME
TELL YOUR DAUGHTER YOU WORK THE DAY OF HER  SHOW
YOU TRY TO TALK TO HIM LET HIM KNOW THINGS ARE NOT RIGHT
YOUR WASTING YOUR BREATHE
YOU DON’T EXIST
IN HIS SMALL SELFISH WORLD
HE WILL MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE
IN FRONT OF YOUR GUEST
HE WILL ALSO START CALLING YOU NAMES
HAVING A CELL PHONE
HE SAYS IS A PRIVILEGE BUT GOD FORBID THAT CELL PHONE STARTS RINGING
HE WILL MAKE YOU FEEL UGLY INSIDE
HE SAYS YOU'RE WORTHLESS
YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT
HE GIVES YOU A SHOVE LATER A PUSH
WHEN THAT’S NOT ENOUGH
HE STARTS TO PUNCH
HE WILL BEAT YOU
AND HURT YOU
TILL YOU START TO BLEED AND ONLY THEN
HIS APOLOGY COMES
FOR JUST A FEW DAYS
HE’S CHARMING AGAIN
HE MAKES YOU FORGET ABOUT THE BRUISES HE LEFT
EVEN ABOUT THE BROKEN LEG HE GAVE YOU THAT DAY
IT’S HARD TO EXPLAIN WHY WE CHOOSE TO STAY THEY MAKE US THINK
WE DESERVE EVERYTHING WE GET
THE MENTAL ABUSE
I THINK IS THE WORST
IT ALLOWS US TO PUT
THE BLAME ON OURSELVES
THAT MAYBE HE’LL CHANGE AND THAT’S WHY WE STAY
WE GET SO GOOD
AT HIDING OUR BRUISES WE NEVER RUN OUT OF EXCUSES
THE ABUSE WILL GET WORSE JUST WAIT AND SEE
HE SAYS IT’S NOT RAPE BECAUSE YOU BELONG TO HIM
WE CAN SAY “NO”
AS MUCH AS WE WANT BUT HE WILL NOT STOP UNTIL HE’S DONE
THE LOVE YOU ONCE HAD DISINTEGRATES
FADING AWAY TURNING TO HATE
YOU TRY TO REASON BUT NO ANSWER CAN COMFORT IT’S TOO LATE TO EASE ALL THE PAIN HE HAS CAUSED YOU
WHEN THE HOSPITAL BECOMES YOUR SECOND HOME
THAT’S WHEN YOU KNOW THAT IT IS TIME TO GO
IT TAKES A WHILE FOR US TO REALIZE THAT A PERSON WHO LOVES YOU WILL PROTECT YOU NOT HURT YOU
THE TRUTH HURTS
BUT IT GIVES YOU STRENGTH AND HELPS YOU LET GO
WE NEED TO BELIEVE THAT WE ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE
MANY WOMEN DON’T GET OUT SAFE
I THANK GOD I WAS ABLE TO ESCAPE
WHERE WOULD I BE IF I WOULD HAVE STAYED
ABUSE IS A TOPIC WE WANT TO FORGET
MY TEN YEARS IN HELL
IS A STORY TO TELL
AS A YOUNG CHILD OUR DREAMS ARE SO BIG
WE NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING LIKE THIS
OUR LIFE IS WRITTEN IN GODS BOOK OF LIFE
HE MUST OF KNOWN
I’D GET OUT ALIVE
GOD GIVES US BATTLES
HE KNOWS WE CAN CONQUER
HE MADE ME A FIGHTER THERE'S NOTHING I CAN’T HANDLE
WHO ARE WE IF WE DON’T SPEAK
WILL WE BE DEFINED BY SOMEONE ELSE’S THOUGHTS OF WHAT WE SHOULD BE
WE PUT OUR FAITH IN OUR BELIEFS
SOMETIMES FAITH IS ALL WE NEED
IT GIVES US STRENGTH AND HELPS US SEE
WE ALL DESERVE
TO BE HAPPY AND FREE