Negative Emotions

Red like love
My eyes bloodshot
Like the blood in my veins
Is totally gone
Its all in my head
As its spinning so fast 
My heart beat is dull
And I want to go back
Back to when 
Everything was easy
But I can't even remember that time...

And my eyes are red
The color of love
The love I can't feel
The skin tinted purple
Like the oxygen is fleeing 
But that's okay
It's to much energy to be breathing
Wanna hide from the world
In dark and solitude
Completely disappear
Away from the pain that consumes..

The tears are hot
Pouring down my cheeks
I can't make them stop
And I feel so incredibly weak
My nails digging into my skin
Tearing it away
Leaving my arms raw
So maybe I'll forget the pain
Why am I like this
So codependent
A weak little bitch? 
And when things turn out bad
I run and hide
Instead of fighting
And taking control of my life