Neurosis

18/03/2021

Neurosis

 

Neurotic behaviour is my unconscious,

automatic effort,

 to manage my deep and hidden anxieties.

Lots of people feel anxious from time to time,

Unfortunately, 

Every single living day for me.

Leaving knots in my stomach,

Churning away.

Most of my Neurotic behaviour,

 you cannot see.

My stress with money,

Or fretting when the kids aren’t home in time,

For their home cooked dinner or tea.

It's all part of being a human being,

So live life inexorablally.

Meaning in life,

What will be,

Will be.

 

You worry about finishing a big project at work on time.

Neurotic  behaviour,

when I fixate on the deadline and moan, 

“I’ll never get this done!”,

 even though it’s not due for months and you have little other work to do,

But have  fun

Neurotic behaviour.

You insist on arriving 4 hours early, 

and then you ask the gate agent every 10 minutes,

if the departure is on time or on the run.

Once again,

Neurotic behaviour.

My neurotic personality,

has little natural buffer against stress,

No filter when talking to someone.

Irritated,

Even at a little mess.

Angry with the world,

When it fills mine with sadness.

Guilt ridden for the burden I bestow on this earth.

Worried all the time,

Feeling something is amiss.

Hostile thoughts Lingering,

In my mind full of Self-consciousness.

Vulnerable to the world,

Although not giving in to the constant looming darkness,

That my life has unfurled.

Don’t give in to Neurotic thinking,

Use positivity in life,

Blossom and uncurl.

I’ve slipped with my mental health,

But not as bad as some.

Surely there’s more help for mental health sufferers, 

Out there that can be done.

I personally,

Won’t ever let it get that bad,

Just feel bad for all the serious ones.

 

Also I live a life,

Full of melodrama.

Well drama all around.

Melodramatically living a life,

That to me is so profound!

I just hope the way I live my live,

Doesn’t put me underground.

 

I’m an over emotional,

Extremely Sentimental,

Histrionic and exaggerated type of guy.

Some would say over ripe,

Overdone,

Yet others would say I’m sensationalised.

 

Blue hair,

Pink hair,

It doesn’t matter,

As I really don’t care.

I do things for the bants,

For a laugh,

No matter whose bubble I’m in,

Sharing the same air.

I’ve come to realise,

That a man like me,

Is one that is truly rare!

 

Not just because I’ve survived my cancer,

Or the fact I managed to have kids,

When supposedly,

Had no sperm swimming down there.

I’ve 3 handsome boys,

All mine,

Seeing as their mother’s not here,

I play the job of both in my stride.

I still walk around in the public,

With the biggest smile worldwide.

I’ve the best of the best in my kids,

With my seductive beauty linked arm and arm,

And her 4 kids by our side.

Making our new joint life,

The most amazing and graceful,

Yet heart racing,

Enigmatic,

Enticing and electric,

Thrill ride!

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