The next Victim

Through the walls I hear it leak disdainful voice meant for my ears

my pillow is useless I'm wide awake no barrier of safety for my tears

A rip is all that it would take to desecrate a precious soul 

but over time I've come to accept the damage that's been done. 

I can hear it all the yelling never-ending amplifying slamming doors the tears are rolling slitting wrists cause i'm denying that i'm breathing but only because i'm holding my breath praying someone please come kill me before I do it myself.

the blood, The blood is not enough the pain wont go away and I sway from side to side everyday try to keep sane but I'm imagining who would even care if I were gone could you look me in the eyes and tell me that I belong?

 Misfit overweight and I've never had a dad slowly losing my mom to the man that's in her bed i'm going crazy now what gives you the right to interject, feeding her lies, running around playing in her head. No I wont stand I will fight back Now I'm yelling and screaming where my mother always lacked I wont let you do it.

Never again will you degrade her I put the bullet in my mouth and then BAM I pull the trigger can you see me now? The words that wouldn't come out are flowing in the form of blood its leaking out of my mouth and can you feel my pain? Do you feel the shame The name was suicide and I willingly played the game,

you can take the blame after all it was your fault all the years of beating taunting and you running off. what did you expect? that the voices in my head were happy despite apparent abrasions on my skin? are you kidding me? NO!

I was struggling in-visioning the picture perfect family where smiles really existed and blood never was dripping from my wrist but now i'm gone I still hear the voice of my mom screaming baby please come back then the bullet takes its next victim..