Night

People say that everything is better at night,
 but I don't think that's true because in the night everything is dark,
 and everything is silent ,
and everyone is asleep.
 Except me.
 In the night is when my smile is wiped off my face,
and my friends are put on do not disturb,
and it's when I feel alone
 but you see when you feel alone it feels like your bed is your best friend 
and your pillow is your biggest supporter 
and your blankets, 
with your blankets you wish they could wrap you up 
in a burrito 
except this burrito isn't the type you used to make with your brother every Saturday morning to watch Pokemon in. 
This burrito is wrapping you up tighter and tighter 
until it suffocates you to the point you can no longer breathe. 
And you'd love every second of it because you know exactly what happens after you take your last breath.
 People say everything is better at night 
 but those people obviously haven't met me.
 My nights equal darkness,
and deep thoughts
 that lead to the constant pain I am trying to avoid,
 Night leads to my self doubt,
 leads to my self destruction. 
My nights equals listening to my grandmas quiet sobs through the thin walls, 
the sobs of a mother losing her daughter. 
My night equals feeling the pain through her tears 
because all though I can not see them it feels as if her tears were also sliding down my checks dripping in my lap. 
And in the morning when I check in my bedroom mirror 
my checks are tear stained just like my grandmother's.