N.J. Bear Group

(circa August 2004)

I move to West Milford NJ
on July 1st, 2002 with a crew
of dear friends from
New Life Fellowship Church
after living in Queens for eight years.

Escaping from the daily battle 
of traffic noise and honking,
hearing sposual battles through 
the  plaster aparment walls,
multiple  break-ins 
while on vacation,
the annual $1,000 spent on 
multiple parking tickets,
the grafitti and trash,
et cetera.

I move into a town
eighty square miles large
filled with woods and deer
and coyotes and black bears
and lakes serving as 
reservoir for the metropolis
of Newark NJ still recovering
from the riots of the 1960's.

I walk out of the local A&P Food Store
in 2004 when a granola type
from the NJ BEAR GROUP
offers me a pamphlet and asks
"What is your position
on the NJ bear hunt?"

What?  I have grown up
hunting and fishing.  
I have gone deer hunting
and bear hunting in
Pennsylvania and NY State.
If the State Biologists say
there are toomany black bear
in the state,
I will go with science.
What is the problem?
Who knew a bear hunt
could be such a
political bomb shell?

On October 31st of 2004,
will be first Halloween handing 
out candy to the local kiddies.
I am warned by neighbors,  that 
the evening before Halloween
is called "Goosey Night,"
when kids run around the neighborhood
pulling pranks like wrapping toilet paper
on your trees, or mailbox or other effects,
and turning lawn ornaments 
or lawn furniture upside down
or tossing  shaving creme bombs
unto the house exterior.

Halloween was exceptionally warm
that year,  and the moon was aglow
on that clear evening and
I had the windows opened
when he middle of the night,
my wife shakes me and says,
"There is something below the window!
I can hear the gravel grinding and
growling, and whatever it is,
IT IS BIG!

I say,  "it is nothing,
go back to sleep!"

I mean it could have been 
a Sasquatch,  and I believe,
but sometimes
you can be so tired...
you would not even answer 
the door for the 
Clearing House Million 
Dollar Prize Patrol with the
5 million dollar cheque in hand.

On the morning after Halloween,
November 1st, "All Saints Day,"
my American Flag post is bent
at a 45 degree angle.

What happened to the idea of
not destroying property.
I am pissed!  
Not only is the pole destroyed,
but Old Glory has rips and holes
in it.

Someone used an awl and/or knife 
to defame my flag?  Bastards!

However, when I thought about
what my wife said about
hearing growling,  and when
I saw a giant b.m.  in my lawn
filled with bird seed,  I knew
it had to be an elephant or
a black bear.

I am no Columbo or Monk detective,
but since no circus was in town that week,
I deduced it was the bear who pulled
the post Goosey Night prank
on my property.

I wonder if the 
NJ Bear Group
would have reimbursed me
for the cost of a new
pole and flag.

Friggin Commie 
Black Bear!