Not to old, but old enough

Blowing smoke rings
into sun rays
This is how I spend most of my days
my kids are all grown
Kids of their own
My father newly gone
I'm left all alone
I wrote a letter to the dead
"I miss you grandma"
Is what it said
I live with a man 
Who says he is all mine
I hardly see him
We fight most of the time
I'm a grandma of 3
If I could see them
I would be really happy
I'm still pretty young
I should be out having fun
Maybe a walk around town 
Go to a new place 
See an old friend
Put a smile on my face
Time passes by so fast
Don't worry about the future
Can't dwell in the past
Live for today live life to fullest
Mother nature and father time on my looks have been the cruelest