Number 2

As the tears stream down my eyes it felt like fire against my cheek. I sat and stared at the pregnancy test. Should I just confess. See the man I love for over four years didn't know I was having an affair with the man I would soon  fall in love with. I ended up telling both men that I was pregnant . One didn't have nothing to say the other didn't feel like it was his in his heart because he knew I was still involved with the man I loved for over four years. The man I loved for over four years confess to being in love with another women. That made my decision about the pregnancy even more easier. See I made the decision that I thought was right because I didn't want to be tied to a man who broken me.  The man who I would later fall In love with girlfriend was currently pregnant . Crazy how we females preach about men ain't shit but here I was doing the same shit I use to fight other females for. See the man that had a girlfriend chased me for a year before he made it official with his girlfriend. And because I was so in love with my man I wouldn't even give him a chance. So he decided to be with his girl and she ended up pregnant. He has told me numerous of times that he is in love with both of us. But me I didn't believe until I was in love with two men myself. I started to see The man I loved for over four years as an enemy and not as a lover. He broke me down by his words . He hurt me with the lies. I became a broken women who needed to be fixed and there was the man that had been trying to save me from the hurt for about a year. The man I repeatedly turned down was the man that fixed my heart. Mind you he has a women he goes home to ever night. There I was in love with another women's man. He made me feel so amazing in the day during the week. Weekends and at night I wouldn't even hear from him. I was number 2 and didn't realize it until at night.  Crazy right? I would cry constantly and asked god why me? I would ask God to take the love that I had for him away. It became harder and harder to leave this man alone. He didn't even know the feelings I had because I never told him.  Number two and in love. I was wrong and so was he but he felt that this was right . He didn't want to live without me. So he says. He puts on to the world that him and his girlfriend have a happy life . But tells me he loves me too in private . I soon became the broken women again. Should I stay or should I go? I honestly don't know. Love is life. But love isn't suppose to make u cry , hurt, or wonder why. I left. Love will come around again but this time I'll be the one and only and not just Number 2. Yes, this single life gets lonely. But I rather be lonely than being strung along by a man that I know will never leave his happy home until it's broken. To know a man that you love is only with you because him and his girlfriend didn't work out as planned. That's a bitch. But baby your still going to be number 2. You should wake up and see the truth.