Of Safe + Sleep
artwork my own
As child I knew them from my dreams
I trailed small fingers to their bark
Their coloured leaves were mine to keep
I stored them safe within my sleep,
I walked their beauty, sang their songs
This forest home, all mine, to keep
And each night I would hear them call
These mama trees of safe and sleep
But then I grew and life shone bright
I dreamed my lovers of a night
The forest colours long forgot
Behind they stayed, with toys, to rot
And life came forth, the good and bad
Beauty flourished stayed and left
As did lovers, children, pets
But old age has its comforts yet,
For memories form an ageless time
It sits with me and drinks my wine
As I recall those singing trees
The joy I felt to touch those leaves
And nights, once more, I hear them sing
Those mama trees of safe and sleep
They bid me collect leaves galore
Eternally, all mine, to keep
M P 20/2/22Β
Β
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Comments
love it Marion!.................................................................................Jim
Bless you Jim...thanks so much x
So awesome.Β
Love it.Β
Thanks so much Liliana...truly x
STUNNING!! MARION!!.....this poem is WAY good!!......has so much to offer the reader.....in profound metering and repetition's strength of light....in memories interplay....and through the magic of childhood!!......AND.....the artwork is YOURS!!......PINNED!!....fantastic work all around!!.....Bravo!!......LOVE & ROCKETS!!.......T xoΒ :Β )
Tony you are very kind and it is so appreciated ..thankyou x
Beautiful truly beautiful.
Thanks so much John ..hugs x
I am Mightily impressed, please note the deliberate capital M M ..Β there aint no typo's in my box .. I really think this is an exceptional poem & could very easily rank among my favourite Marion Price's ..Β
I love the way you reference memories, their value & impact as we journey through life & maybe reach our own personal autumn .. I share that view precisely .. and the journey through a life you gave, was .. well let's just say for the sake of brevity 'to die for'
The only thing I would add & this is no criticism whatsoever, is x three or four ... at the end of that otherwise super concluding line .. to maybe indicate something further .. maybe ............................ All Good Things,
Your mate & fan
Neville x
Β
OK...night shift brain and all that Nev...what 'X' lol...please reply because I'm stumped ππ
otherwise thankyou for an extremely uplifting comment my lovely friend X
There is only x1 X and that is after my name .. unless its an invisible one .. I meant the only thing I would change is to add ... like belowΒ
Eternally, all mine, to keep .
silly me .. just spotted it I meant x3 or four ... as in times 3-4 ...'s x
oops there goes another one :)
Ah yes...the last line...got you. Yea, I'm not happy with that line but you know...writing for me is directly onto my phone( is it the same for you?)...I get a thought and it has to go down. Then guaranteed there will be a need to finish it quickly for whatever reason and rather than lose it, it gets posted. I randomly go back through my stuff and change loads so it flows better or whatever. Sometimes, I find reading my own stuff a problem as I cannot read it from another's perspective and also I often write to aΒ beat in my head which obviously is only in my head lol. My more out of zinc stuff is meant to be off kilter...kind of sing song beat.. 123...123 ...kind of thing. Now..
Neville I am well aware I am frazzling your brain...and mine...lol...sorry...but I've got to tell you it is so nice to have proper constructive advice, we should all do a bit more of that so we can improve or at least get a perspective of how things read to others and it is appreciated truly my friend. There are probably a few things I would change in this including the painting which isn't actually even finished lol...many hugs ...and ...thanks X
I didn't know the artwork was yours too .. it is very good, I like it in the unfinished state .. I thought it was ..
I do take notes on the mobile, note pad etc .. I've even written along my arm and the across the back & shoulders of ... You will neva frazzle the unfrazzable .. I do agree though about making available constructive advice if it well intentioned & that there aint enough of it going on ..Β
Hugs & thanks both appreciated & reciprocated x
Shit...that was long wasn't it...sorry π€©π
Marion I am so pleased to see the painting up and with such a stunning poem to propel the reader deeply into that forest. You captured the reminiscent childhood safe world that only children and nature get to indulge in. And you reminded the reader that the echo of that safe time, is still lingering around us. Even when everything else is gone. I loved this. It compliments your painting perfectlyΒ
hugs xxΒ
Ah...you are very kind Gwen...and I love it...hugs xx
I'm so non-verbose when it comes to commenting lol I do enjoy all your lovely inks
That you even bother to read is more than enough my friend x