open-mouth country
an elegy to those who die before the law
"with the fruit of a man's mouth his stomach will be satisfiedโฆ"
through his unskinned belly as through mine, a bullet would slit equally ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย
smoothly and you know it like the gun smoke at the home invasion, ย
like the rented room severed by flood, like those pock-marked sweated
woodlands and grieving windows and burning tarmac and the burningย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย
Amazon, or the phalanx of bronzed soldiers forward flung, or the three
classmates plungingย wide-eyed into the riverโs icy arc โย
the flags have settled at half mass.
on television we are all thieves, even the old woman, bereft with a jar of
pennies, even the babyโs rattle, mid-fall from uncurling fingers. flanks are
an open pulse.ย the radio man, he sees. he is soย afraid, and I can do no
other than kneel with the bulwark of shoulders, touch your hand, if outstretched,
lay a kiss on your cheek for want of warmth, to ask you back into my home ย
for bread and wish you as much happiness as you can fit in your mouth.
didnโt you know,ย a single miracle can last for weeks in the mouth?
sometimes centuries.
ย
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Comments
Please leave me a comment down below! a.t.
This poem is like aย stuck window pushed open violently. The first part, tells me of a world where the aggression goes on relentlessly and we know because we can describe it, as you have done. The second part, tells us that every bit of our flesh feels it, knows it, almost is part of our make up, but then we also know that we cannot give up, it is not a rational choice, it more a visceral need to push" asย much happiness as you can fit in your mouth". You call it" bread". It sounds such a simple food which makes me feel when I read it might be entirely true. The language you used: flung, plunging, flanks, flood, bulwark, flags, those sounds also describe as much meaning as your sentences. It creates a sense of struggling to keep afloat. The idea of pushing happiness into somebody's mouth, makes me feel of the despair of whoever is that person, it feels that it will do it almost as an act of aggression against oneself because we don't know what is what would topple the unfairness, the violence, but at the end you know, you say" didnโt you know,ย a single miracle can last for weeks in the mouth?
sometimes centuries"
Thank you for your comment! It means a lot to me that you have read my work in such great depth and given such detailed feedback. I think you word the effect I was trying to achieve better than I could have myself. About the ending, I initially wasn't sure myself. Do you like the poem? Does the ending work for you? I would be very interested to know your thoughts. If you have any suggested changes those would be very welcome too... this is still very much a work in progress. Thanks, a.t.
Superb verse. I am truly impressed by your articulate pen. thank you for sharing your gift with Cosmofunnel
Thank you very much for your comment!