Painted Faces

My mind is dying
A deadly infection they called 'love'
Tainted by the painted faces that won't leave me be  
A small distraction, just for a little while to keep me content;
They said 'love' was many things 
Some call it a drug
addictive, dangerous
anything goes for the next hit
It's never enough
Some call it a smile
Quick, gone as soon as it had come
fake as the illusion it flashes and real as the lips the smoke leaves
My mind is not reacting well to this feeling
I do not like it
My face is painted like my heart
Full of decaying, rotten tears that my heart so long ago produced 
I want to be loved
I want to love somebody 
Reconcile with my broken body
Conceal away what I have known 
Open up to what love could be
my heart is never satisfied
I ask myself
Where do I even start?;
Sometimes I wonder what their all thinking 
When I walk into a room
All of their painted faces lacking color's
Shapes and shadows 
Yet yours does not
Even I cannot describe the type of sensation you bring upon me
It was never a smile 
It never seems a drug
It's simply innocence 
Like a child I worry
On the inside that is
So days past and my painted face like the rest hides my truth 
The 'love' takes control of my mind and for once 
The sickness isn't so very bad
My heart seems a little immune
I'm sick enough though to pull off my mask
pull it apart piece by piece 
show you the real face 
It's haunting
It's not beautiful, it's not clean and fresh and sweet
It's not perfect by any means
My face is riddled with scars from a past that a tear-filled child once burdened 
Left lonely, a little girl who wanted to be noticed 
The eyes are dead, drained, so very tired
colorless 
The mouth is stitched
I will never tell
What do you think of me now?
Now that my painted face is gone
The truth is exposed?
My naked face shown for judgement
Will you love me now?
Or will you turn away like so many before?
What seems beautiful is so very ugly inside the shield of paint
Will you stay?
Love they said was like a smile or a drug
It took over my mind...
Love is so dangerous when you show the world your ugliest side;
If you say you 'love' me
take off your painted face too
So you do
I realize you're ugly too
So is she and her and him 
Such wicked scars for such a smile
Who knew were all a little hurt?
You stand right in front of me
My painted face i wash away
I realize the power of 'love'
What they really meant when they said 'love'
There I am 
Tired body weak in the room that stands so strongly for you
There you hold me close
My painted face is just a beautified ghost;
Now I really know the cost of love.
That it's instead a realization rather than a expectation 
Painted faces are gone between us
Love is born form the shards 
Do you love me
And all my scars?