Poem - 17 July 2018, 05:03

Painting a Ghost

Painting dreams,
Painting ghosts from the past,
I can't forget you,

Beautiful shades, of love,
Brushed on to an empty canvas,
Brighten my life,

You taught me to paint, the sunrise,
Memories, of your beautiful bright smile,

Painting a bright-blue-sky cotton-clouds floating by,
Seeing your blue and white dress,
Fluttering, in a cool summer breeze,

Painting a landscape of hope,
The earth touching the sky,
Seeing your hazel eyes,

Painting a flowing stream,
Memories, of tears,
The day, you sailed home with Angels to stay.

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Poetry Genre:

Verse

Topic:

Love

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3 comments

Comments

Ron Chapman17 July 2018, 07:05

YouTube text to speech poetry recitation video
https://youtu.be/Q8m-QubG_60

Nome Morgan17 July 2018, 05:59

Hello, :)

I found one thing that made me sit up straight:

Painting a bright blue sky cotton clouds floating by, (Maybe you could use fewer adjectives to describe the sky, or maybe connect them with dashes.)

Take care,
Rasmine

Ron Chapman17 July 2018, 06:29

Nome Morgan, thank you for your comment and suggestion,
At first, I thought about placing a comma there or adding the word WITH.
But for some reason that didn't sound good to me.
That line describes the memory of her dress I talk about in the next line.
However, I didn't think about adding dashes.
Thank you again for the suggestion.

I made the changes you suggested.

Thanks again

-Ron