Police are appealing for witnesses

A man with a white beard was seen carrying a sack,
wearing a red coat, it's possible it was Lee Mack;
a friend was in the 'force,' it was Boris of course,
couldn't remember if he'd signed official secrets act.

My sister-in-law fancied her chances with the FBI,
this was impossible, anything's possible, goodbye;
there are ways to guarantee your existence,
undertaker or police - never short of any work.

A man was abducted from his car by aliens,
perhaps it was retribution for all of his sins,
when the police arrived, there was no one there,
because all of the evidence was up in the air.

No one could do anything without a conviction,
everyone had to wait until he came down again.