Potential cancer of the heart. How much more can my body take‽

24/01/2022
Potential cancer of the heart.
How much more can my body take!

Feck my body,
What about my mind?
It was already full of depleting dismay,
Distorted,
Disengaged thoughts,
That to them,
I wish I were blind. 
What is it with my lifetime wanting me to eternally suffer.
Whilst watching from the side-line of my life.
Not the outside.
The in-between.
No man’s land.
You have to go through it,
To come out the other end.

I feel like my body is at war with its own self.
For to many years I’ve thought of others.
Putting my problems,
 unsorted, 
Back on the shelf.
People keep saying,
Just look after numero one,
Look after yourself.
That’s when I feel selfish though,
Just thinking of me,
My health and oneself.
Instead I get loaded with other people’s unwanted problems.
Pilling it upon me,
When they can sort out themselves.
When I’ve enough to deal with.
The same as Elizabeth,
And her ones Herself.
No one listens to us though,
Yet are offended when we can’t hear their life problems too. 
I’m sorry,
Like you,
We’re deaf.
We’re not minions,
Or even Santa’s special elf.
We’re people like you,
The same
Through and through.
Just look out for you and those you love most. 
For a good life,
That’s all you need to do!

Please stop bringing problems to liz and my,
Happy life. 
Nothing and No one will break us.
We’re too strong. 
Well be together for eternity.
In that,
I trust.
I just want these heart and lung problems out of the way.
I want to carry on living the James Bevan life,
It’s a must.
Mainly because I’m full of immense happiness.
They can take my heart but it would still be beating,
Until full of grime,
Dust and rust.
But that would only happen,
If my gorgeous Liz,
I lost....