Promises Promises

My main objective is subject to change
Dirty resume 
Past covered in stains
When I'm gone they'll remain
Addicted to pain
Conflicted brain
Depicting  insane
Resisting Restraints
Frisking a saint
Wishings too late
Diminishing living space left to inhabit
Finishing suicidal thoughts in traffic
Drifting along with the other dust no one cares to discover
Shifting in the mist pissing
Angry at my definition of existing
Visiting doctors at the border 
Score black market meds for my heads disorder
The list of reasons seems shorter
Creatively careless
Nothing matters where's your manners
Don't embarrass the terrorists
I ain't sharing shit with a therapist
Traumatic trespassing injuries
Automatically altering an ugly alter ego
Internal burning 
Complete silence besides the words where do we go
Separate trips to opposite hemispheres 
Wondering why can't you hear me clear if you split I'm grabbing some shit as a souvenir 
What else can I prove you dear
Sincerity in my sarcasm 
My love is lacking proof apparently
Energies switch polarities 
No longer pulled by attraction
Repelling magnets
Furious about the shit we fell in
Screaming and yelling 
To stupid to see honestly
Promises follow or lead apologies
I feel sorry for the word sorrys overuse 
Vocabulary abuse
Faking a vacation in my imagination taking someone imaginary
Tired of the tired imagery
Visual misery
Inducing optical illusions
Delusions hidden in visions
Leading to the conclusion we believed wasn't coming
Misled by misunderstood memories making love pollution
Unreality keeping false hope alive long after the beauty died
But I guess that's in the eye of the beholder
Never again see me hold her
Hostility and jealousy towards what once was yours pours out my pores
Every forever is now another never 
Our idea of amazing is fading 
I'm not waiting to see what we are becoming
That's why I'm running