Push and Pull

I sit in my room looking at the time.

You are gone doing what you need to survive.

I feel alone cold with out your touch.

You say sweet nothings in my ears to make my knees weak.

You push and I pull.

Why does the excitement in your voice go away when I call.

You push.

I wait for your call. It never comes.

I pull.

You say dont worry about me and tell me to focus on myself.

But you also worry about me and tell me its different.

You push.

I sit crying wondering why I feel the way I do. I ignore your calls. I cry till it hurts. I cant sleep. I cant eat. You say Im a drug. You say your addicted. So why do I feel so alone.

You pull.

You also ignore me at times.

You push.

You tell me I am number one.

You pull.

I ignore your words.

I push.

You pull.

I cry.

You get mad.

You push.

I push.

What now?