Realisation

I never realized,
How much something could hurt...
Until,
It didn't hurt at all. 

It was a numbing feeling.
Like someone had injected my entire body with novocaine.
I could breath,
But I could no longer feel the air inside my lungs.

I knew I was alive.
I had to be.
But I couldn't feel my heart beating.
It was no longer in my chest.

And then I looked up,
And across the room,
You held everything I felt in your hand,
And I watched it hit the trash. 

That's when everything came falling back.
Like my life had suddenly reanimated itself,
And I was okay.
I realized, that you could never love me.

I was simply just too much.
Which,
Was okay.
Because, you would never be enough.

I had fallen in love with the idea of you,
Searched for you in every man.
But when the opportunity arose,
I pushed it far away.

Not because I would disappoint you,
But because, you would disappoint me.
And that's okay.
I'll just never be your Louis Lane.