Realize

Why am I not proud of myself?
Ashamed that if I died today, I would never have reached my full potential. 
Although I've achieved many things, and in many ways I'm successful. 
I have qualifications with distinctions, 
I have 4wonderful children that I have provided for and educated, 
I'm artistic and can draw well, 
I'mnot aggressive, well...slightly, 
I'm mostly a law abiding citizen. 
I've probably experienced certain degrees of all the feelings and emotions possible for a human being, 
But something always feels like it's missing somehow. 
When I analyse it deep inside I know it's something only I can bring up to the surface. 
Then use it and actually do something about it. 
Instead of wasting time as if it never really mattered, like recently, 
Years lost, the cost of which cannot be calculated.
Maybe realising this will help?