Recognition

I was away the day you arrived.
Hayling Island it was, me and my mates on a weekend jolly by the seaside.

At home, the night before, we played Monopoly.
I could see mum was uncomfortable so said I would stay.
She told me "Go".
Explained it was just Braxton Hicks, fake labour pains.
I didn't really understand, trusted her judgement.
Turned out later she lied, didn't want to spoil my fun.

I called to say I arrived safely, promised I would.
Dad answered "You're a big sister!".
I liked it, it fitted.

First time we met, mum put you in my arms, you stared right into me.
I stared back.
They said you couldn't focus, were too young.
They were wrong!
You recognised me.
We knew each other.
We met before when your life first began inside me.

I wasn't a bad girl.
One serious boyfriend, was careful.
Got appendicitis.
They took it out, gave me antibiotics, penicillin.
Explained it would prevent infection.
Didn't explain it would cancel out my contraception.

Mum said did I need to tell her anything?
Hadn't asked for 'lady things' for two months.
Gave me the choice.
I already knew.
I was still a child, I couldn't have a child.
It was the right decision then, didn't know what I know now.

Almost a year later mum's pregnant.
I'm excited.
Can't wait to meet my baby sister.

I'm older now, wiser.
More open to things that can't be explained.

I looked into the eyes of my sister.

I saw my baby's soul.