Pain Processing

(circa 2007)
 
I find out the woman of my dreams has been
seeing another guy after 8 months of dating.
I am devastated - HEART BREAK.
It feels like a betrayal bowling ball in my chest,
for over six months.
 
I talk with the therapist,
he says the pain I am feeling
is not caused by Vanessa,
it is the stuffed feelings of 40 years.
My stomach feels like a washing machine.
 
I did not know how to sit and process
Uncomfortable feelings.
The grieving feels like I am dying.
Dr. Roman tells me I am not dying.
 
I must sit with the feelings and grieve.
I cry 2-3 times a week for a year.
My German and English heritage
are not known for being “feely.”
 
Jung says the only way out of pain
is through the pain.
Joseph Campbell said, “The cave
you fear to enter holds your treasure.
 
Jung says neurosis
is the substitute for legitimate suffering.
I am grateful today I can
keep current with all feelings.

If you want world peace
heal your inner child.
 
I also live in the present and that
has made all the difference for me.