religion

here that i stand with my blood in my shoes,
and blood in my hands,
and blood in the pews,
its drowning my lungs and covers my skin, 
and im shaking with silence,
and reeking with sin,
the voices they echo with a low octave drone,
and the organ it deafens me,
im all on my own,
im losing my faith but im drowning in hymn,
and the shudders of flame scorch my skin, 
im burning in hell and im breaking my back,
and im stood in a church but its painted with black, 
patterns on the walls and fingertips there,
touching and scratching and pulling and tear,

im opened, im pure,
my dignity lies,
ahead of me, infront of me, 
i see with my own eyes,
the chanting- they scream as they take off their cloaks,
revealing great shadows of monsters and ghosts,
spirits they float, shuddering by the flames,
as i become fear, a martyr, their game,
"jesus" i answer im blinded by night,
my saviour, my lord, their father the light,

a cross indented scorched upon thick skin,
my bloodied hands stretched upon the table of kin,
he slits my innards and pulls at my heart,
he draws on my face and pulls me apart,
he spits on my hands and leaves me to drown,
and hes wearing the thorns hes wearing the crown,
im blinded by flame, the dark holds a tear,
i carry death in my hands, i have become fear,
im blackened and lifeless and holding my breath;
religion has cured me,

this is my rest