Royal Roy.

The clock strikes midday.
In bed i still lay.
The midday sun shines bright.
Christ i had a rough night.
My eyes as red as sunburnt skin.
My mouth as dry as a bottle of gin.
My head as painful as a broken heart.
My thoughts as confused as a perfumed smelling fart.
Last night who was i with and where did i go.
Oh no.
I don't know.
Christ I'll have to stop drinking.
Into the unknown i am sinking.
I feel sick.
The clock on the bedroom wall does annoyingly tock tick.
Then i hear high on the richter scale snoring.
Actually it was like a male lion on heat roaring.
I looked, and beside me lay a naked ladyboy.
Oh fuck i yelled, hi he said my name is royal but you can call me roy.
And i hope last night with me you did enjoy.
I nearly had a heart attack.
He started to caress my hairy naked back.
You you you got to go i said.
Christ if this got out it would ruin my street cred.
Out of bed he did jump.
And said before i go can i use your loo to have a dump.
I said no you must go right away.
He said are you sure with me you don't want to play.
I yelled no.
Just go.
He left with a smile on his face.
And left me in bed at midday in a shocked confused daze.
Alcohol never ever again.
Christ i am in such physical and mental pain.