Saboteur

Left to my own devices
Lord knows 
I'm two selfish to make selfless sacrifices
Danger always entices
Opposite of what right is
Life is chances and risks
Hoping the losses are less then the benefits
Its hard to miss
At the heart of this
Lies the cold heart of a narcissist
Hardened over time and attempts to overcome hardships
Now it's too hard to quit
Why ever start some shit
Mistakes made more than once
Not a dunce or the smartest
Living like a starving artist
Harming those I love most
Am I doing the best
Nope
I feel half dead
Am I half ghost
Gone like adios
Blonde dikes overdose
Why can't we cope
Paid in dope
For a half price horoscope
Life's turned me into a hollow man
Feeling like a hologram
Holding hands with half a gram