Sadness To Hate.

I do not want to feel like this anymore,
It consumes me everyday, 
At first it was pure sadness I felt,
But now I'm beginning to hate. 
Hate that she could leave me, 
After all that we'd been through,
Hate that she's left me wondering,
Was any of what she said true?!
Did she ever love me?
If so how is she so cruel, 
Did she ever love me?
I feel like such a fool!
I go to bed earlier each night,
To get the day over & done, 
Because I cannot think of anything but her, 
And how she's played me for such a C**T!!
Of all the chances I gave her in four years,
She refused to give me that one last shot, 
Instead she just messed with my head, 
Until I nearly lost the plot. 
She'd reply to all my texts, 
With harshness of the tongue, 
Throwing her new girlfriend in my face, 
To show she is now the one. 
Why did she still call me, 
And let me hear her voice?
I'd cry until I could not breath,
Clearly giving her ego a boost!
I do not like to think this way, 
Because of the kind person I am, 
But how else can I express myself, 
Of the pain of such a sham?
She told me I had her whole heart, 
And that would always be the case,
That she saw a real future with me, 
That's now all taken away, not a trace :(
Did she ever really love me?
The simple answers no, 
If she had, just like she said, 
She could never have let me go,
I always thought she'd be there for me,
Always be my rock, 
I really wish I could stop thinking of 
her & just not give a fuck!!!!