Sales Pitch

(circa 1999)
 
When I work for the man,  I complain.
When I am unemployed, I complain
I am not working for the man. 
I am conflicted.
 
I go to an interview for a sales job
in Tarrytown NY, across the
Tappan Zee Bridge. 
 
I have no idea what they sell. 
It turns out to be a job selling frozen food
from small refrigerated pick-up trucks
“posing” as restaurant sales vehicles.
 
We go up to a house wife’s, 
I mean “homemakers” front door and say,
“I sell to local seafood places and restaurants,
and I have some extra seafood today. 
How about some seafood for your fridge?”
 
As I sit in a drab room
on the dirty tattered carpet, 
a woman with long dark hair in a pony tail
walks in the middle of the room
and starts pacing around
preaching in ecstatic tongues
 
“I love working for this company! 
I can make as much money as I want! 
When I meet my daily quota,  I can go home early!  This job is easy,  the product sells itself!” 
 
She is the hype girl of the company
and reminds me of the Ben Affleck
character in the movie Boiler Room. 
She was convinced,  
she was less convincing to me.
           
I am sent out with an old timer. 
I must give one day of free labor,
“training”  to learn the con,
I mean trade.
 
The “seafood company” sells frozen
fish,
shrimp,
clams,
scallops
and lobster
 
I knew in five minutes
this was not for me, 
but I am stuck in training
for another 6 hours and 55 minutes,
and I did not know how to
walk back to the headquarters.
I chose to make the best of it.
It was one of the longest days of my life.
 
On the way home to the frozen food outlet, 
the old white-haired bearded man tried to
convince me how this was a great job. 
I tried to convince the old man
how Jesus made a difference in my life. 
 
At least my sales pitch had more conviction.