SCIENCE DICTION

There was a little boy  and now he is no more,
because what he thought was H2O was H2SO4;
there was a man who thought he saw an alien,
not really diction, just a misty green apparition.

It was true - the alien pronounced Earth: E, A, R, T, H,
with the accent, every letter just paused on each;
we had H2O, he wasn't so lucky having H2SO4,
water against sulphuric acid was making him sore.

He said they'd come to take away much of our water,
although when they left, we'd still have a quarter;
Atlantis would be visible, the Bermuda triangle exposed,
with lumps of quartz down there like everyone knows.

I said: 'Please don't do that, you're welcome to stay,'
he replied: 'I've been hoping you'd ask me every day.'