Series of LIFE mistakes

5
I’m an indecisive little bitch
not knowing what I want
or what to think.

I can’t decide, you see,
not knowing what I want
or who to be.

I don’t know the future,
path to follow,
who to lead.

Searching blindly in the dark,
too bright to see.

Who am I if I’m not me,
deciding decisions
that were not meant to be.

6
Work is building up,
what am I to do,
pilling piles
working until noon.

Trying to focus,
but focus is not here,
trying to sleep
but sleep is not near.

I’m always tired
but always awake
I’m always busy
but never asleep.

7
My to-do list is getting longer,
my will is no stronger,
don’t know how much longer
I will handle this.

It’s building up,
going no lower
slower and slower
reaching the stop.

8
Again the same feelings
don’t know what to do,
the last time it happened
it didn’t end well
with me and you.

Choosing between the two
friends and foes go,
standing alone
nobody to tow.

Spiraling the same lane,
learned nothing from before
tired of hiding and running,
my legs are all sore.

Letting go of the ropes,
following the vibes
whatever happens next
I’ll deal with the strikes.

9
Caught myself smiling again
and catching the feelings,
who is the mister I’m seeing?

Looking at phone,
hoping it shines,
rings the notification,
leaves me blind.

Waiting for him
and talking with him
everything is evolving
around him.

Talking via text,
my head leading me astray,
hoping the feeling
doesn’t go away.