As she lays there

As she lay there,

Surrounded by her thoughts,

She realized something.

She was dead,

Inside

Her happiness wasn't real

And neither was her pain.

She could no longer feel them,

They we're mere shadows

Of what she had once felt,

Of who she had once been.
 

As she lay there,

Drowning in her emptiness,

She realized something.

She was alone.

Forgotten.

Her friends had left long ago,

Never listening.

Every time she tried to tell them,

They pushed her farther away

Until she learned

That despite the fact

That it tore at her insides,

Keeping her secrets to herself

Was less painful than trying,

to tell someone who didn't care.
 

As she lay there,

Dwelling in the loneliness of it all,

She realized something,

She was unloved.

Discarded.

Her mother hated the daughter...

Who was such a disappointment,

Who was ungrateful,

Stupid,

Ugly,

Weird,

Her father hated the daughter...

Who couldn't seem to get anything right,

Who broke everything she touched,

Who was messy,

Forgetful, 

Ignorant,

A mistake.
 

...As she lay there,

Wondering if she was worthy of love,

She realized something.

She was wrong...

Faulty,

Her pain was real,

Every misinformed slew,

That was thrown her way,

Every hit her body attained,

Every offhanded look,

That she was given,

It all hurt...

With every breath she took.
 

As she lay there,

Stumbling through the agony,

She realized something,

She could make it all stop...

Forever.

If she couldn't hear the ignominy,

If she couldn't feel the abuse,

If she couldn't see the leers,

If she just,

Stopped

Breathing,

It would all go away.

All that misery.

Gone...