Sick Relationship

when we are abused, we are bonded to abusers by trauma. when you are moved to hang on because some memories are pleasent, it is because they are juxtaposed with the painful experiences, therefore vividly contrasted. this is a trap we fall into because our fog, which evolves as cognitive dissonance. you are probably an empath, as many creative types tend to be. empaths are the prey disordered personalities prefer because they are a source of energy and easily played because they are so willing to question themselves and accept they have flaws. the disordered do things that make the empath doubt themselves, which is very painful. passive agressive antics, devaluation, violating boundaries, projection, gas lighting, word salads, triangulation, love bombing, discards, smear campaigns may be employed to destroy you. emotional abuse, psychological fuckery, financial and social treachery are often worse than physical battering. it is hard to admit you tolerate this mistreatment, which is humiliating. it also effects how others see you. sadly this behavior is hard to shake off. we are conditioned early in life to find the same thing because this is what we know. you should write and write often to get a hold on what is happening. read books about narcissisrs, emotions and regulation. the mindfulness trend can be easy and effective in defending yourself. lots of good blogs offer robust insights. be wary of chat rooms, where these predetors await.  god speed gorgeous