Sid

Now Sid the squatter came about quite unexpectedly,

when ol' doc Lloyd was checkin' why me 'earin went on me.

I told 'im what me symptoms was but said I weren't too sad

'cos feelin' proper pissed for 'nuffin really 'ain't that bad.

'Fings can get quite 'airy when I'm drivin' in me car,

but I can manage.... if I squint one eye.....and don't go far.

I 'ad to 'ave this magnet 'fing wot' looked inside me skull,

it sounded like a concert wiv' that rock band Jethro Tull!

Then just as I was noddin' off they filled me veins wiv' ink,

and that was prob'ly when I first began to sit 'n' 'fink....

The doc' looked up, 'is face all calm, wiv' just a little frown

'n' said "I'm really sorry Don, but sumfink's goin' down."

Then 'e said to look it up 'n' I said "wot' the 'ell!

'Ow can I look up a word 'wot I can't even spell???"

So off I went to London to see a bloke wot' knows

and 'e said "don't you worry dear, 'cos these 'fings 'ardly grows."

I 'ave to go in March so that this bloke can check again

that Sid 'ain't pressin' up against me stem 'wot runs me brain....

So 'ere I sit in limbo wiv' a squatter in me 'ead,

but do I worry? Do I 'eck! I takes meself to bed,

and if me mortal coil is up 'n' now me time is done,

I'll go while grinnin' ear to ear 'cos BLIMEY I'VE 'AD FUN!!!