Silent tears

Silent tears, shy of daylight,
tear the silence of the night apart –

              I cannot bear to break the peace
              of our cat sleeping in my lap
              and they are not tears
              of anger,
              of fear,
              of loss,
              but, yes, of joy.

My heart longs for life
which I find impossible at times
to give myself by the daily books alone.

These lines also are of joy
to balance debit and credit neatly in the night:
monk for credit, work for debit,
to weave a web of words for both worlds

and thus to gain a life,
for the one cannot give birth
to life slowly growing into being
without the other heart beating…