Silently suffering

Growing up with abused,
It's all I know,
I'm afraid that he would hurt me,
But then again he still does it may not be physically,
but mentally,
it still hurts,
"Stop crying or I will  give you  something  to cry about"
"You can sleep, all you have too do is shut up and close your damn eyes"
"If I were you  I would  bang a hammer  against  my head as hard as I can"
"Everyone who listens to that kind of music should  put a bullet  in their head"
"Your just an idiot"
Those words  are all I know,
I heard it all,
But it's not the words that hurt,
It's the voice  behind it,
He's spouse to love and cherish his daughter,
But even though I know it all to well,
I stay silent,
I hide in my own shadows,
I shut everyone who's trying  to help me,
It's not a cry for help,
That would  make  me weak  if I ask for help
So I suffer in silence,
I know if I spoke up I would lose my dad,
I don't want to lose my father,
everything comes from my heart