Some Kind Of Way ❤️ ❤️

You know it's funny I never thought that I will be here!!
It's 2018 and He Got Me Open and It's toward the end of the year!!
My Mind Is Everywhere!!
but My Feelings Are Crystal Clear!! 
Am I Really Ready To Face Again My Biggest Fear??
Love Yes Love Feels Closer Than It Appears!!
 Can It Really Be ?
Or Jhus My Dream Of A Romantic Luxury? 
Am I Experiencing My Wants and Needs Come To Life? lol 
Am I Just Caught Up In Time & Feelings Made Up With Lies, 
He Doesn't Really Seem Like The Type!! 
I Jhus Have To Brace Myself That I Could Be Proving Myself Right!! 
About What You May Ask. 
Trusting A Man behind my back is Where We Clash and Then I Have Thoughts Of The Missed Patterns In The Past and How I Was So Caught Up In Wanting It To Last That I Was Loosing Myself because The Damage Caused My World To Just Crash. The More I Showed I Was Real The More It Didn't Count!!
But if You Ask Me I Wish I Could Tell You I Knew What Real Love Was All About!! 
I Mean I Been In It ,But I Never Really Mattered To Someone Who Wasn't Fully Committed!! 
Forced To Pick Up The Pieces Of My Broken Heart Alone Like I Did It!! 
Some Of The Most Devastating and  Treacherous Pain That I Ever Been Thru!! I Would Of Passed Up On Love Back Then If I Only Knew. 
So You See With This Man I Am Very Cautious Which Of Course Is What You Suppose To Be, 
But What If He Is Not Patient Enough To Deal With The Damage Inside Of Me? 
But Maybe He Damaged Too but My Feelings for Him Might Not Cause Me To See. 

My Emotions May Become Uncontrollable but With Him I Feel Like I Can Be Free. The Attraction, The Chemistry It's A Sudden Rush Like A Dose Of A Antihistamine. 
Daaaaaaaaammnnn Here We Go Again!! Wen I Fall In I'm In It So Deep nd I Become Blind nd The Road Becomes Steep.
What If I Start Believing Everything That He Said? 
I Mean I'm Falling For Him Already Got Him All Inside My Head!!
I'm Goin Back And Fourth Thinkin Would I Be Wastin My Time To Even Let Him In!! 
I'm Panicking Cause I Know That Love Ain't Really Been My Friend. 
Things StArt Off Good Then All Of A Sudden Keep Happenin!! 
It's Like This Love Thing Ain't Meant for Me. Maybe I'm Jhus The One Meant To Give Nd Not Receive 
Cause It Seem Like It Get Close And Then Love Leave. 
It's Like My Heart Wants His Love but My Mind Seems Incapable!! 
Not Cause Ion Want A Relationship but Ion Kno If I Can Trust Him To Be Completely Faithful!! 
I'm A Good Hearted Person By Nature I Am Valuable and Something You Have To Earn!! 
So I Ask Myself Over and Over Why I Keep Giving My Love Out but We Live and We Learn! 

I Feel Safe and Protected Guarded and Secure. 
I Get Butterflies and I Feel A Spark but Still I'm Unsure. 
He Attracted To My Phasique and Admires That I'm Unique 
and I Feel It In My Bones Even Before I Began To Speak!! 
So Much Nervousness and Excitement Down To My Feet 
As I'm In Front Of Him I Feel My Knees Start To Get Weak!! 
The Places He Takes My Body Without Even Touchin Me I Can't Even Explain !! Like How Does He Do That? This Is Insane, but I Can't Recall That I Ever Felt This Way!! 
I Often Find Myself Daydreaming About How I Can Be His Wife His Forever Some Day!!
2 People Spirits Can Come Together Turn Into Magnets !
 We Both Have Our Guards Up We Gotta Protect Ourselves Outta Habit!! 
But It Would Be Fucked Up If We Push Each Other Away Wen The Love Was Real but We Made It A Tragic!! 
I Really Wanna Be All His and He Be All Mine!
 but Wen I Think Of The Possibility I Think Of The Pain from Last Time!! 
Last Time I Slipped Up and Got Caught Up In All These Devotion!! That Overtime I Was Blind To The Signs That Came To Me As A Surprise Wrapped With All This Comotion!! Cause It Was My Soul That Was Lost and That I Was Seeking!! 
Seems Like I Stay Pickin The Wrong Men I Swear The Cycle of This Keep Repeatin!!
My Head Is Spinning Because Of All The Confusion
 and I'm Overfloodin With Tears Cause All Along I Was Livin An Illusion!! 

It Still Angers Me About The Things I Didn't Realize ,and How I Left Myself Behind and Now I Have To Apologize!! It Took Me Awhile To Find Me Again!! It Took So Many Years To Be Comfortable In My Own Skin!! I Love Me and I Want Someone Who Loves Me Too!! Be Obsessed With Me Not Make Me Out To Be A Fool!! His Diamond In The Ruff He Loves His Queen And Can't Get Enough!! I Kno My Expectations Are High and Jhus Cause I'm Afraid I Honestly Don't Think I Want To Let Go Of This Guy!! My Loyalty Is Everything I Cater To My Man But Can I Trust Myself To Jhus Give Out One More Chance, Another Shot At Romance. I Promise After Him I Promise I'm Done!! I Jhus Wanna Feel Like I Mean Everything To Some One!! I Just Hope This Is Real Cause I Can't Take Another Heartbreak , I Don't Wanna Cry No More Don't Want To Make Another Mistake!! I Want A Man Who Only Belongs To Me and I Think I Found Him He Makes Me Smile nd He Makes Me Happy!! So Instead Of Livin In Fear I'm Goin Live In Faith!! And Take My Time and Just Enjoy The Wait .

One Day At A Time A Nice Steady Pace It's Amazing He Is My Light After I Came Out A Really Dark Place. I Look Forward To Seein His Face Every Single Day!! To Me He Irreplaceable and I Hope He Here To Stay. I Don't Want Him To Go and I Miss Him Wen He Leave Who Knew A Man Could Ever Really Mean The World To Me!! Will My Heart Be Healed Once and For All Finally? Jhus Give Your Heart To Me nd You Can Live Happily!! Let's Try Again With This Thing Called Trust And Show Each Other True Love Still Exsist !! That Our Dreams Are What We Ask for When We Make A Wish and Not Everyone Can Pretend Baby I'm All In!! I'll Have To Overcome My Issues and I'll Do What I Gotta Do,but I Can Promise You That I Don't Want No Man In My Life If It's Not YOU ??