Something less than love

Something less than love

I was five when she left us
just a little boy.
that long ago summer
when the heat
burned upon the earth
and also our passions.

she left us with the handsome
man with the big car.
since then even after all
these years I have looked
and searched for a place
to lose my sadness.

sometimes in the stillness of sleep.
I would hear the songs she
sang as I fell asleep in her comfort.
or feel her lips on my cheek.
I dreamt of her hearing 
her  almost forgotten footsteps
coming into my room.
I painted her beautiful face
until time faded it to a blurr.

Now a man no longer
a little boy
with torn jeans and. 
dirty tee shirt.
people say to me dumb things like.
She is still out there
and thinks of you everyday
with a love in her heart.

I nod in concert with the thought
I whisper sure or maybe.
but inside I know in her heart.
it's something less than love.
yes for sure
something much less than love