Sometimes I cant sleep

Sometimes i just cant sleep.
My thoughts drive me up the wall and through a valley that i cant stand to go on
 The pure thought of it alone makes me want to go to sleep and just never wake up again or be tortured by a thousand little needles poking at my feet 
My thoughts always seem to eat me up 
But at night it is usually the worst or when i am alone and the darkness of my life creeps in and tries to sweep me away into seeing the sad reality of everything i try to write off as a little bitty part that doesnt matter.
The sad reality that i always try to escape makes me want to put a bullet deep into my head bring all the voices to an end..
This is one of those nights
Even with the person I love most in the world sleeping next to me 
The person who i have told the most to
I still feel lifes full force on me 
Suffocating me 
Pushing me deeper into the harsh belly of it's inside
My love is asleep and i am awake feeling all alone
 feeling burned
 feeling as if I am not good enough and never will be
Will life always feel like this for me