SouLmatE

Just tired of being alone, of being broken, of being so sad. 
For my life had begun it's downward spiral, closer to hell, losing all I had.

And then one day near the ocean, with a beautiful sunset and crashing waves...
I laid eyes on this gorgeous man, who would pull me up and out of my self dug grave.

He was handsome. He was charming. He was funny and he was so sweet.
He listened when I talked. He gazed so deep in my eyes and kissed with a passion so deep. 

He touched my soul without using his hands. He was magic. A miracle. He was all my eyes could see. 
And then I had to say a prayer and thank God, for He had to have created him just for me. 

We experienced so many amazing moments over the next six years. That I remained high on happiness, high on life and felt like life was perfect for me. 
We took weekend getaways to the beach and to the snow. Log cabins, horse rides, oceans and creeks, but cuddling after amazing sex, feeling his heart beat next to mine.. was the best, cuz in his arms is where I wanted to be.

Then one day, I allowed bitter, miserable people whisper toxic words in my ears, words I will regret for the rest of my life.
Because they took my happiness, they took my joy, and they took away my hopes and dreams of ever becoming his wife.

Yes I had envisioned all of that, the train on my ivory wedding dress so long, it would take two people to hold it up, the alter in the sand next to the beach...
Rose petals, birds chirping and him on bended knee as he placed the ring on my finger, symbolizing our love.. With tears in his eyes, he'd ask "Will you be my wife?" I'd do my best to hold my tears, shouting "YES, YES, YES!" Thanking the Man above.

Mrs Caldwell they would call me... and I'd grow old and gray...
With him by my side, loving everything about him even more than that very first day.

We'd sleep with our legs intertwined, his dark skin against my light skin was a vision I still hold dear to my heart. 
We'd sit silent in the same room for hours, talking our love language only we knew. Absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful was our story . Until it started to fall apart. 

Snapping back into reality, a place I really didn't want to be. It's such a cold and lonely world. Now for me it's only deceit and betrayal and lies..
The man I loved, who held my heart in his hands, who touched my face so softly, while gazing deep into my eyes..

This man is gone. He left so long, long ago. I can remember the pain in his eyes and the hurt and confusion on his face. 
As I stood there, and was so cold, so unforgiving, believing the lies I was told. I was stupid for trying to be tough, trying to stand my ground.
I had ice around my heart and believed the demons, as I pushed him so, so far away, that he can no longer be found.

I pushed him into the arms of another woman. A woman who is beautiful and independent and rich, and yes, loves him so. And what hurts me the most is she carries his last name. 
My soulmate, my everything.. he put that ring on her finger, on bended knee. Said vows before God and I was the one to blame.