Splattered not Scattered ❄️?

Slipping on the harderend ice decked like splattered eggs
My hips in sheer agony & I’ve got blood running from my legs
Tho I banged my head on impact
I think it is alright
I won’t be surprised to see
A collosal bruise on it tonight

Dear me what a fool I feel
I hope no one’s around
I must look like a wounded soldier
In a bloody battlefield on the ground

I lie there as long as possible
I’ve really hurt my pride
At this precise moment
I just wish that I could hide

Oh hell’s bells 
I’ve dropped my heavy load
My basket full of shopping
Is all over the road

There’s tomatoes squashed everwhere
I’ve even got bits in my hair Turnip & tatties all over the place
I’ve got burgundy beetroot on my face

Oh no tho, what about the china teapot
I’ve newly bought for my Mam
It’s her birthday in the morning
I’m so annoyed I am

Dammit it’s in a thousand pieces
This will never ever repair
I shall have to go buy another
Tho I cannot leave it lying there

So still shivering & a-shaking
Like a wobbly strawberry jelly
I turn myself round gingerly
So that I’m on all fours on my belly

“Ouch n’ ouch” I  slowly pick my crumbled body up
My head’s all in a dazzling daze
I’m feeling Oh so sorry for myself
In too many different ways

Trying to rescue what I can
Tho I try but all in vain
Everything I bought is either smashed, squashed what a pain!

Nevermind I can hobble home
With my empty basket in my hand
Mark my words, I’m staying in 
till there’s no iciness on the land?