Suidal Thoughts
these thoughts keep racing in my head
not knowing where to go or who to turn to instead
temptation of wanting to get the razor and just simply cut....
will it take the pain away ...will it be enough?
everything going dark,seeing nothing but flashbacks that keep
playing in my head, playing over like a movie that never seems
to end...
wanting this pain to simply go away, wanting no tomorrow to
come, tears keep falling, body feeling numb....
wondering how long this is all going to simply last..
going thru the pain still hurting from the past....
i ask just please let me die and go fast.
keep remembering the day like it was yesterday
the bruises that layed upon my skin,
layed there beaten..a fight i just couldnt win.
remembering being held down tight...
didnt know just what to do but simply ask
why was i being raped by you?
you told me you loved me, a lie i simply believed
but if you loved me, then why let me lay there and
just bleed?
hurting me how you did ended who i was
asked you why, you simply said why not
so i lay there still with these suicidal thoughts.
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Comments
A hard subject to share. Usually i read and cry...your write made me angry. Some are born into hell and have to adapt....some humans are terrible devils....just because. Well written.Ā
thank you so much for your comment, sorry it made you angry but writing exactly how I feel is how I have gotten thru everything I have been thru. yes some are born just evil and the best get the worst of things. hope to have you continue to read my poetry and comment :)
Hello chanda...
This stuff is really beginning to piss me off...
So much depression and suicide...
People have many reasons for wanting to kill themselves...
But, When it's because someone is being treated badly, then call the law...
Not everyone has had a wonderful and peachy life, but I will be damned if I would allow anyone to push me to that..
GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE AND LIVE YOUR LIFE!
Seek comfort from friends and talk to a professional...
There's help out there, but they don't know where the suffering is even though it's everywhere...
Hugs...
sparrowsong
Ā
thank you for your comment, I understand what you mean by being pissed off and all, being in an abusive relationship is not easy for some to get out of and that was the case in my situation. I am no longer in that relationship and I am now in a good one but what happened with him wasn't the first abusive relationship ive had to be honest I have grown up knowing nothing but abuse and writing poetry as blunt as this was is how I got thru everything. its my escape my help my medicine. I have reached out to get help and currently am working on that but hope you continue to follow my poetry. again, thank you.
Hi Chandra, your tale is harrowing, sometimes the only thing to do is write how you feel to put it into some sort of perspective. This must have been a very cathartic for you. Well written
Lorna
xx
Ā
hello thank you for your comment, writing exactly how I feel does help me very much. writing this was tough but I had to put my thoughts to paper, hope you continue to follow my poetry and again thank you :)
It takes courage to write fromĀ your own experience like this; especially when that experience is so horrific and life-altering. It takes courage and strength of character to put your own name and face to your writing.
This may be so; but what I see is someone standing up...speaking up...telling her own story in a compelling and powerful way.
Keep standing...keep speaking...and keep writing.
J ;)
J, thank you for your comment on this poem, to be honest it made me cry when I read it because I never saw me writing as a way of me speaking up and me standing. every poem I write is something ive gone thru personally , poetry has been my way of dealing with everything ive been thru in life which has been nothing but abuse. I don't write to be a victim because I am a survivor I write to hopefully one day help someone else and to be heard as you say. hope you continue to follow my poetry and hear from you more, again thank you so much. :)