Summer Suicide

i'm sleeping long summer days away
and spending hours at night awake
the smile i wear is fake
'cause i'm just trying to stay

well i haven't eaten much lately
i've been distracted and much too busy
i just haven't been hungry
but i'm just trying to stay

the air is hot and makes me tired
i've been laying in bed on fire
out of breath and sweating but not from the weather
i'm just trying to stay

getting stoned all night
drinking when i'm not alright
pills to the left of me and a dollar bill to the right
it's getting hard to want to stay

so i've been wondering why
it's the summer that makes me want to die
i think it's the memories of you and i
i don't want to stay

the razor's returned to my hand
i tried pushing it away but it's back again
it's finally done all it can
i wasn't able to stay alive