Talking to myself
Be who you are. Believe in yourself.
I always just want to sing aloud, but I am ashamed my voice isn’t unique.
So I cower behind my self doubts, but I know within what it is I can bring.
I don’t believe I have what it takes, to change the world with words I say.
I don’t know why it is so uncomfortable, when my raw talents is what makes this real.
I wish that I was proud of my voice, so proud that I could sing all that I hide.
No one knows the pain I’ve kept inside, and as far as they know I’m always just doing fine.
It is hard to share the essence of me, when I am scared of what people will think. To be vulnerable is so unsettling. I’m so fragile and the cracks run so deep.
I want people to know what I write, to hear deep words unburied from my mind. My soul bleeds the words of inflicting pain. The release I feel cuts deep like razor blades.
I have to sing all I’ve hidden aside, got to speak my heart with only my lucid voice. Need to feed the world, breathe with real poetry; the purest version of all I am divinely meant to be.
That one day when I can shake all the nerves, stand in-front of a crowd knowing all that I’m worth. That is when I will have figured it out; just follow the vibes, just believe in myself.
So when I sing my story aloud to the world, the tears in my eyes will soon flood out my soul. And whilst I confidently sing; healing energy emits a glow; cleansing all worries, and empowering my life’s goals.
All that I write is to be in the world. The empath I am, just an emotional girl. My mind thinks dark, my soul burns bright. These are all of the words I could only ever write.
As time goes on and the more that I grow, I’ll strengthen my voice to release all my soul sorrows.
I may seem sad, if you resonate to this side of me, but don’t be concerned it’s how my gifts flow naturally.
Yes it is true, I’ve felt every dark damned thing. From my pen to my paper, was all once my only reality.
So there it all is, and here it is I am. I’m here to sing, write and voice my songs, being proud knowing I always can.
I am here to change the world one word at a time, to find out who I am through my musical divine. Remember my name and soon you will see, a new prophet for/of creation, bravely planting the seeds.
Seeds of new beginnings, and purity of life. A force against nature, gifting my essence to fossil minds.
Thankyou
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Comments
Hello Tiana Devlin-Sailor...
An experience I had with a music teacher and where I was placed within the musical group...
I wished my voice was as pretty as the other girls...
Not even close...
So I began just trying to figure out who I am and what's my God given talent?
I figured I definitely wasn't on that list of receivables when I was being created...
Ballet, Piano, hours and hours and hours on Sunday afternoons watching on a 3 x 5 inch little tv on the kitchen table, Shirley Temple...
That started when I was 6 years old and my parents knew I was probably going to live...
Yay me!
That was a very sarcastic Yay me!
2 years of Ballet lessons and Shirley Temple...
Oh Lord kill me now I thought to myself...
By then I figured God must hate me...
Things just kept on going...
I compromised and took Tap lessons...
I loved it...
Then I was happy so my parents said they couldn't afford my lessons anymore...
That's when my Mother signed me up for Ice Skating lessons...
That's when I figured my Parents were trying to piss me off...
I decided find the thing you like in it and see where you go...
After a year of falling on my butt...
My parents figured they're just wasting money...
Then I was put in modeling School off and on for 4 years...
I went to 2 of those...
I was 12 years old and weighed 72 pounds and they said I was 5 pounds overweight...
You know that lead straight to a diet...
I sing to the radio and I haven't had anyone say you know you can't sing?
I sing to myself at the grocery store...
It helps me...
When I start singing This Is Crazy, I know I have to find a new song in my head or stop singing...
Sometimes, I think I sang a little louder than I was trying to so no one would hear me...
I didn't realize it a couple until a couple of people looked at me...
I tried to read the look on their face but, I thought the smile was a hello smile...
I didn't ask...
THE BOTTOM LINE IS...
YOU LOVE IT!
JUST DO IT!
IF IT TAKES YOU TO FAME I HOPE YOU DON'T BECOME THE IDIOT SIDE OF IT...
IF IT DOESN'T...
BEING HAPPY REALLY IS OK...
If I could hear you, very high chances you're voice is a lot prettier than mine...
Great write!
Thank you for sharing...
sparrowsong
Thanks so much for the comment! I actually loved it and feel uplifted. :) Appreciate your story of life experiences, always good to get a different perspective of things from others perspective on things.
I literally know it’s my calling in life I believe but not the right timing for that new phase in life, but it’s amazing how many different roads you follow and how many directions you change over time just to actually end up on the same path you started on! Funny how the world works.
Thanks so much very grateful for your feedback :) xo
I love the honest self reflection in your write Tiana, any kind of artist must run the gauntlet of public praise or disapproval. Personally I have learned it is only when we stop seeking either that we are...
'free to be me' so to speak. Follow your passion...be free...i wish you serenity from your passion...success is irrelevent...hugs x
Thanks so much Marion appreciate the feedback :) x